


death in spring

by relationshipcrimes



Series: prompt fics 2 [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relationshipcrimes/pseuds/relationshipcrimes
Summary: Yua Akechi's grave is small, without any inscription save her name and dates, belying the funds the Akechi family hadn't had at the time. Akira has seen it three times.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Series: prompt fics 2 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721287
Comments: 12
Kudos: 321





	death in spring

Yua Akechi's grave is small, without any inscription save her name and dates, belying the funds the Akechi family hadn't had at the time. Akira has seen it three times. Not in consecutive years. The first time, Akira was twenty, he and Goro weren't dating yet, and honest to god, it was a complete coincidence that he bumped into Goro on the rail station while Goro was on his way there. After three minutes of painful small talk, Goro let him come along because "you looked so sad and pitiful, trying to ask if I was alright without asking if I was alright," according to Goro.

The trip was long, awkward, and almost entirely silent. Yua Akechi died on a spring day, which, apparently, was common due to something-or-other about depression and the seasons changing, but mostly Akira remembers that the sun was incredibly bright and cheerful for a woman's deathday anniversary, and that afterwards they'd gotten iced coffee and drank it on the patio of an outdoor cafe. Akira remembers thinking it would have been a nice date, if Goro's mother's grave hadn't been three blocks away.

The second time Akira visited Yua Akechi's grave was when he was twenty-three, some time after Akira had decided he would _not_ be informing his own parents that he was dating a boy and would continue to "date" Ann so Ann could, in turn, get away with dating Shiho under _her_ parents' noses. As if to make up for Akira's parents, Goro had taken Akira to Yua Akechi's grave on the anniversary of her death. They'd gone through all the traditional rites, done the silent prayers, cleaned the grave and set up the fresh flowers, and then Goro had stood up and bowed.

"This is my boyfriend. I love him very much," Goro had said to the tombstone, as formally as he would to any living parent, which actually made Akira choke on air a little because he'd _never_ heard Goro say the words _I love you_ without twenty minutes of hemming and hawing first. "I hope you will accept that," Goro had said, which was the closest Akira had ever heard Goro get to asking for permission or forgiveness for preferring men. Either way, the gravestone had not responded.

On the third time, Akira is twenty-seven, and it is the first-year anniversary of Shido's execution.

Shido also died in the spring. Goro had not mentioned an opinion on it.

This time, Goro doesn't talk at all. Doesn't tell Akira a single thing the whole time, until Akira wonders why he was even invited. Akira forgot to take the ring box out of his pocket, because he takes it with him everywhere like a dirty secret nowadays, and he wonders if it's better or worse that he has to stand here and play guessing games with what Goro is thinking like they're back in high school while Akira has a 900,000 yen ring in his pocket. (What? He was buying Goro seventy thousand yen bracelets back in high school; he's not skimping on their engagement ring now.)

They wind up at the same outdoor cafe they'd gone to the first time. It is still a disproportionately beautiful spring day, the cafe is still set up outside with the same metal chairs, except now Goro and Akira are seven years older. Goro spaces out staring at the road while Akira orders for both of them, two iced black coffees with a side of sugar for Akira. The order comes. They drink it in thick, contemplative silence. Akira wonders if maybe he shouldn't have come, if perhaps Goro preferred to do this alone.

Akira, eventually, starts texting Futaba in one hand with his other hand on the ring in his pocket—not because he's going to propose _now_ , of all days, but just because Akira spends half his days worried he's going to lose it and the other half worried Goro will find it if Akira leaves it at the apartment and all his days worried that Goro secretly already bought his _own_ ring and is going to propose first. He wonders if Yua Akechi would have approved, if he'd asked her for permission to marry her son.

"He never did apologize to her," says Goro suddenly.

Akira doesn't ask who he's talking about. Goro's still staring studiously at the road, ignoring the cheerful outdoor cafe around them. Akira puts down his phone.

"He apologized to me, when I visited him in jail before he died."

Okay, Akira should probably be worried that he never knew that Goro went to see Shido, but Akira's just going to file that one away for later.

"He apologized for all sorts of things. He even told me he was sorry for what he did to you," says Goro. "Hearing him apologize just made me angrier. I'd spent all those years waiting to hear him apologize, and when it finally happened, I _hated_ it. I was so furious that I forgot to tell him to apologize to my mother. Which, frankly, was the only thing he was ever going to be good for."

Goro takes an absent-minded sip of his coffee. Rattles the cup to break apart the ice. Examining it clinically, he says, "I spent all that time trying to make him apologize for what he did to us, and then at the last second, I _forgot_." He smirks. "I'm a pretty bad son, aren't I?"

Akira frowns. Goro spent so much of his life hating his father and never really discussing his mother—Goro never struck him as the sort to get caught up in filial piety or filial guilt. It was Goro who told Akira to never mind his own parents' opinions on who Akira chose to date.

"You did the best you could," says Akira, somewhat at a loss.

"And it wasn't good enough, evidently." Goro leans back in his chair. Spring is cool enough to wear the jacket with the collar that frames Goro's face. He reclines on his chair like a throne, haughty and arrogant, covering himself in the spikes and thorns he used for self-defense way back in high school and college. "An apology, too—what good is an apology? I should have made him donate money. Hire someone to keep her grave clean every day. Put his money to good use."

Just as quickly as he started, he shakes his head. "Never mind. There's no use in worrying about it, either. I don't mean to burden you with things neither of us can fix."

Akira still wants to know, though. Not _for_ anything, not to fix it, just to know. "Did she want an apology?"

Goro hesitates. "I don't know." He shakes his head, smiler wider without humor. "Unbelievable. I think I must have thought so, considering the lengths that I went to get an apology from him. But I don't think I ever heard her say those words. So maybe I only ever imagined that she wanted an apology in the first place." He starts laughing unpleasantly. The next table over, a woman stares at him until he stifles his giggles, mouth twisted like he's just tasted something bitter.

Akira fiddles with his hair. Bad habit that he never broke. He wishes he could lean over and hold Goro's hand, even if under the table, but Goro has never appreciated PDA even when he's in a good mood.

"You did the best you could," he says again. "That's all you can do."

Goro just shakes his head. He stares back at the woman who'd been staring at him until she looks away, nervously fussing over her child. Then he sighs.

"I can't believe you really mean that," says Goro. "You're just saying that because you love me."

"I say that I love you because I mean that."

Goro's cheeks slowly acquire a light pink color. "You're outrageous," he mutters, looking away.

"It's just the truth."

"That's why it's outrageous. You're unbelievable." Cheeks growing darker, Goro drains the rest of his iced coffee, stands up and throws the plastic cup in a nearby trash bin. "Aren't you done with your drink? Let's go."

"Ah—yeah. Hang on."

Akira throws his plastic cup away, and Goro waits outside while Akira buys a pair of bread buns to go, for when Goro inevitably gets hungry on the train ride back, because old Metaverse habits died hard and Akira still makes a habit of carrying food for other people. Goro is already outside the cafe, still looking out across the road in the direction of the cemetery, out of sight over the hill. When Goro sees him carrying the paper bag, Goro gives him a flat but fond look, knowing exactly what that food is for.

"I really hope she would have approved of you," he says.

Akira wonders why, even when imagining the way his own mother might have loved him, Goro can't imagine that someone would love him unconditionally.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter [@p5crimes](https://twitter.com/p5crimes)  
> tumblr [@akechicrimes](http://akechicrimes.tumblr.com)


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